Food? Check, Guilt? Check

Food and I truly have a love/hate relationship. One of these days I would like to eat a satisfying meal without feeling guilty. Just savoring and enjoying every bite. I am either always counting the calories I am eating and worrying that I have eaten one too many or I damn everything to hell and eat as much as I want and THEN feel guilty about it when sanity returns.

So all that makes me one really sad girl therefore I decided I had to do something again and get back on the diet wagon. And here I am. I just sit and think about food all day and wonder if I need help and why the heck can't I have been born skinny? I mean come on I accept blame about the eating but there are people who just gain weight by looking at food and I am one of them.
Growing up I had a friend in my neighborhood. She'd eat twice the food I would and not gain an ounce and I had to exercise daily to keep half of it from getting on. SIGH~
Here I am on day two of my not so efficient diet. I figured I'd just start by making wiser choices and keeping track of what I am eating. Why the heck are there so many calories in everything good? I guess I'll just have to wait and see how long I stick with it and what good comes out of it.