Food and I truly have a love/hate relationship. One of these days I would like to eat a satisfying meal without feeling guilty. Just savoring and enjoying every bite. I am either always counting the calories I am eating and worrying that I have eaten one too many or I damn everything to hell and eat as much as I want and THEN feel guilty about it when sanity returns.
So all that makes me one really sad girl therefore I decided I had to do something again and get back on the diet wagon. And here I am. I just sit and think about food all day and wonder if I need help and why the heck can't I have been born skinny? I mean come on I accept blame about the eating but there are people who just gain weight by looking at food and I am one of them.
Growing up I had a friend in my neighborhood. She'd eat twice the food I would and not gain an ounce and I had to exercise daily to keep half of it from getting on. SIGH~
Here I am on day two of my not so efficient diet. I figured I'd just start by making wiser choices and keeping track of what I am eating. Why the heck are there so many calories in everything good? I guess I'll just have to wait and see how long I stick with it and what good comes out of it.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Coffee Ice Cream
While driving to work in the morning, stuck in the ever present traffic, I have long conversations with myself ... sometimes uplifting but more often depressing to the point that I would be crying tears of frustration by the time I reach the office. My point is for me it's an outlet. Things need to be thought and processed and even if I can't find a solution I feel better.
I am now writing to see if maybe a little ranting into the wide unknown might just help me somehow deal with all the emotional baggage that goes with being over weight.
Oh where should I start ... there is almost 1.5 decades of pent up frustration, justifications, flat out denial or just plain I don't care attitude behind it but here I am almost 30 according to BMI about 70-80 lbs over weight and nothing I do makes a difference. I am sure someone will come along and tell me to get off my butt and exercise blah blah.
On a Saturday evening at 9:30 pm I was sitting frustrated by life in general and went for the coffee ice cream in the freezer. Yes, I am a stress eater and therefore I try not to keep any junk food at home ...
So how do you eat healthy when you have a demanding job and a 10 month baby and 2.5 hours of commuting every day. I don't think I even get enough sleep. I know I need to do something. I am still figuring out what.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)